Terrible Taxidermy

Dead animals stuffed with sand is kind of a grim concept. I don't know who came up with it but I'll wager they wet the bed well into their twenties. Strangely enough taxidermy actually gets better, the worse it gets. Observe;

Getting a tattoo might sound like a cool thing to do, but for god's sake, think about it carefully, make sure you realise that it's for life. And under NO circumstances will Edward from Twilight ever be a good choice for a dude. FAIL!

Not to be confused with spastictastic which is something completely different, splitstastic is an expression used to embody the pure awesomeness of attractive ladies doing the spits. You'll never look at ladies in the same way again.

When people are making out and someone takes a picture it's your duty to get in the back on that shot and pull a stupid face. If you don't you're letting society down.

Forget the American girl group and dance ensemble founded by choreographer Robin Antin, what you need is a Celeb Pussycat to keep you warm on those lonely cold evenings. Some of these pretties are well worth purring over!

Get the sleeve of an appropriate book cover or record cover. Assign yourself some similar clothing. Place at amusingly correct angle. Get a pal to take a snap at the correct moment, and. the result: some pretty cool sleeveface pics.

Lets face it, they chew your furniture & shoes, attract dirt like they are magnetized, eat anything and throw up what doesn't seem to get digested and hump the leg of the person who will be the most offended. But. We love them more than words can say.

Think about it before you turn away in horror, all good things come in pint-size packages. Honest! Lets face it, there are definitely 'certain' advantages to be explored!

"To have a good time - gooood time!" - Who the hell wrote that, obviously a 40yr old virgin who had No idea what they were singing about and probably never will.

It's an important event in any young persons life that they try their hardest to get into college and do their best with their parents hard-earned cash. Not to study, but to have fun. And of course drink LOTS of beer. Lots.

We were all there once upon a time. The internet is all shiny and new, spelling is unimportant and Lemon Party sounds like zesty fun. Before long he'll be a hollow husk fapping to gore, vore and scat with an air of bored indifference.