I Have No Idea...

Pets are good at certain things, like licking their crotches, shedding on your clothes and getting under your feet before you manage to reach the lightswitch, but ask then to fix your car and they're utterly useless.

Obligatory NOMs all round, I could probably manage 2 or 3 with some fried onions. But after that I would've had my fill and I'd probably move on to a nice tasty dessert of chocolate cheese cat. Then maybe some bees and biscuits.

This is the only way to neck a shot of your favourite tipple, be it Jack Daniels on bellybutton or cleavage tequila, so the next time you order at the bar, drink your drink from a lady's orifice!

To quote that wise sage Homer Simpson, "Beer, the cause of, & solution to, all of life's little problems!" Where would we be without this nectar of the gods? Probably still married with a prosperous career!?

So here it is, the day of the week that feels like your human reset button has been engaged and life returns to, well, exactly the same as it did last week. That only leaves you 7 days to f#ck it all up again. Meanwhile, here are some pics.

A colorful collection of wasted women who still manage to look cute with their heads stuck down the toilet bowl & vomit coming out of their mouths! It's amazing there was still someone left standing to capture this with a camera!

Riding a roller coaster is a little bit like life, you think you are prepared for what the future hold, but when it arrives some people just can't cope with it and as these facial expressions reveal, wish they hadn't made this choice.

It's the land of the free, home of the brave, birthplace of the American dream and host to all sorts of other freaks. Somewhere along the way the dream turned into a nightmare that some people haven't woken up from yet.

I really don't know why I've never seen this before but why has no one tried girls covered in beer porn? I mean its a pretty bad waste of beer but the viewing figures would probably cover the beer outlays, brb registering girlscoveredinbeer.com

If Hasbro had thought to do this back in the day, they probably would have gotten a lot more boys into buying My Little Ponies! Actually, THANK GOD they didn't!

Just remember, you will never give less of a f#ck than when you are a child. Kids are like little rock-stars who don't need drugs and alcohol when they trash the place and defecate on themselves, it's just who they are - Be afraid.